Oklahoma Divorce Attorneys Discuss 4 Rules to Deal with an Angry Spouse

Talk to anyone who has been through a divorce and he or she will most likely tell you that it was an emotional experience. Divorce can bring up emotions like sadness, depression, resentment and of course, anger. Anger is an emotion that most people feel at some point during the process. However, for some people, the anger portion of the divorce can last a very long time. As any wise divorce attorney can tell you, dealing with a very angry spouse can be quite difficult. A hostile husband or a wrathful wife is often not willing to play nice. He or she is so focused on being upset that moving a case towards completion can be almost impossible. So the question begs, what do you do if your soon to be ex is hot under the collar? The following are the four basic rules for dealing with a seething spouse:

  1. Do not fall into the anger trap. Anger loves anger. So the first rule in dealing with a perturbed partner is to keep your cool. Do not fall into the trap of responding to your enraged ex with hostility. Take a few seconds to take a breath before speaking and keep your voice at a normal level. Do not shout!
  1. Be prepared for their tricks. A steaming hot spouse is looking for a fight. If you do not fall into their trap easily, he or she may resort to tricks. The good news is that if you are prepared for these outbursts, then you will be better equipped to handle them and realize that they are just part of his or her game. Common peeved off behaviors include:
    • Delay tactics (continuing hearings, failing to provide discovery)
    • Fighting over material objects that he or she does not want but know that hold special significance for you.
    • Start a custody battle.
    • Back out of verbal agreements
  1. Create a support team. Dealing with an overly emotional ex can be draining. It is important that you create a support team that can help you out and psych you up mentally to deal with the barrage of anger that is flying your way. While friends and family members are great, you may also consider finding a therapist or counselor you could talk to as well. A therapist will not only listen but also give you tools to better handle the stress.
  1. Fight nice. Just because you are not falling into the “angry trap” does not mean you have to roll over and play dead. You can still fight for what is important to you, just do it in a way that you will be proud of at the end. This means picking your battles carefully and once you have, fight nicely. Do not drag up the past or fight based solely on principle. Instead, focus on the present and what you need out of the divorce. Realize that there are no true “winners” in a divorce. However, if you keep your mind set on getting what you need and rather on “winning” an argument or every individual fight, you will be much better off in the end.

If you are contemplating filing for divorce, it is important to speak with an experienced Oklahoma Family Law Attorney. Only skilled Oklahoma Divorce Attorneys can answer your questions and review your legal options with you. At The Handley Law Center, our compassionate attorneys understand how trying a divorce can be and the emotional toll it can take on a person. You can trust The Handley Law Center to be by your side every step of the way. To schedule a consultation with one of our trained family law attorneys contact The Handley Law Center today at (405) 295-1924.

Oklahoma Divorce Attorneys Suggest Three Tips to Keep Your Cool During A Divorce

Even if you are a lover of summer weather, you know that too much of a good thing can lead to a nasty sunburn and even heat stroke. So it is important to take steps to stay cool when temperatures are on the rise. Doing simple things like making sure to stay hydrated, hang out in the shade during the early afternoon when the sun’s ray are at the strongest, and of course, slathering yourself in sunscreen can all protect yourself.

Being an adult means learning how to stay cool, calm and collected regardless of how heated the situation may be. However, keeping cool is not always as easy as sipping an icy beverage under an umbrella.  Intense emotional situations can cause even the coolest of cucumbers to become a little hot under the collar. Divorce is the perfect example of such a situation.

In a divorce, there is often so much at stake that it makes keeping one’s cool an absolute requirement no matter how hot the situation becomes. That is because any divorce attorney with his or her salt knows the problems that can arise when a client that starts to see red. Angry clients tend to make poor decisions, focus on the present moments rather than on their future goals, cause unnecessary stress to themselves and their children, and are less happy at the conclusion of the divorce. Also, clients who let their emotions get the best of them often have divorces that cost a lot more and take longer! To make sure that you keep your cool during your divorce, follow these three tips:

  1. Do your homework. You may already be familiar with the adage that “information is power.” A person that has a divorce attorney who prepares that the “now” and also what he or she can expect down the road is much more likely to keep his or her cool than a person that is unprepared for the journey and the bumps along the way. So, the first thing a person needs to do is find a skilled attorney that focuses his or her practice on divorce. He or she will be the most knowledgeable about the divorce process and able to keep you in the know.
  1. Three-second If you feel yourself getting upset over something that your soon to be ex said or did, pause, take a deep breath and count to three. It may sound a bit silly at first but giving yourself just three seconds can give you some time to gather your thoughts and think before speaking. These three seconds can be the difference between “reacting” to what someone says and “responding.”
  1. Remember your end goal is not winning. During a divorce, it is important always to keep in mind what is important to you and what you need to get out of the divorce. That is because no one truly wins in a divorce. If you keep your focus on your needs and your future (yes, there is life after divorce), you will be much calmer than if you focus on winning every little battle and getting everything you want.

Divorce can be stressful. That is why it is important that you an experienced Oklahoma Family Law Attorney by your side throughout the process. Our trusted team of Oklahoma Divorce Attorneys will take the time to answer your questions and make sure you understand all of your legal options so that you can make the right decisions for your family. To see how The Handley Law Center can assist you with your divorce or other family law matter contact us at (405) 295-1924. We offer completely confidential consultations.

Oklahoma Nursing Home Neglect Attorneys Answer Questions About Bedsores

Even if you do not have a loved one in a nursing home, you more than likely are familiar with the term “bedsores.” Unfortunately, bedsores are so common that vast majority of Americans have heard the term, although most may not understand what a bedsore is and why it is a very big deal. The following are some of the most frequently asked questions Oklahoma residents have about bedsores:

What is a bedsore? A bedsore, otherwise known as a pressure sore or ulcer, is an injury to the skin that occurs after prolonged periods of pressure to that area. Bedsores most commonly transpire on the skin near bony areas like the hips, tail bone and buttocks, shoulders, heels and ankles.

Who is most at risk of developing bedsores? The people who are most at risk for developing bedsores are individuals who have an illness or medical condition that prevents them from adjusting their position, or that confines them to a particular position for long periods of time. In nursing homes or hospitals, these are often people who are confined to a wheel chair or bed ridden because of age or infirmity.

Is a bedsore a serious medical problem? Bedsores are wounds that need to be taken very seriously as they can develop and progress into a dangerous medical condition quite quickly. There are four stages of severity of bedsores. The National Pressure Ulcer Advisory Panel defines the stages which range from Stage I, where the skin is not broken, but may appear reddish or discolored, and the area may be tender and painful, to Stage IV where the wound has resulted in a large-scale loss of tissue. Bedsores, therefore, once diagnosed, must be treated right away. If left untreated, bedsores can lead to a serious infection like sepsis and even cause death.

Are bedsores preventable? In almost all cases bedsores are preventable. Quality nursing home facilities have procedures in place so that a resident who is immobile or confined to bed do not develop bedsores. Staff at nursing home facilities are specifically trained to reposition residents so that they do not sit or lay in the same position for long periods of time. When a resident does develop bedsores this is a potential sign that the facility is not providing adequate care. Either the facility staff may be negligent or often the facility is understaffed. This is often the case when a resident did not have bedsores when he or she was first admitted to the facility.

My loved one suffered bedsores, does he or she have a case against the nursing home? Nursing home abuse and neglect cases are often complex. That is why it is necessary to only trust an experienced Oklahoma nursing home neglect attorney who is capable of carefully reviewing and evaluating your loved one’s case.

How much does it cost to sue? If you have reason to believe your loved one is the victim of nursing home abuse or neglect it is important to know that there is no cost to meet with an attorney. In fact, there is no fee unless the attorney wins the case.

If your loved is a nursing home resident and has suffered from bed sores it is important to contact our Oklahoma Nursing Home Neglect Attorneys as soon as possible. At The Handley Law Center, we understand how devastating it can be to discover that your loved one is the potential victim of abuse or neglect.  Specifically, we make it our goal to fight for justice for our clients and their families. To schedule a free and completely confidential consultation with one of skilled nursing home neglect attorneys contact The Handley Law Center today at (405) 295-1924.


Oklahoma Injury Attorneys Urge Oklahomans to Drive Sober this Holiday Season

For some girls and boys, the month of December means going to bed with visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads. What could be more exhilarating for a wee one, than the anticipation of Christmas Day—waiting for the jolly man in the red suit to slide down the chimney and deliver presents underneath the Christmas tree? That is pretty tough to beat. But, for the other not so little boys and girls, this December has been a month of anticipation as well. This slightly older crowd has been counting down the days for the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Whether you are a fan or a fanatic of the Star Wars movies, one thing is probably true, it is just a matter of when you see the movie, not if.

This is a fact not lost on Hollywood or the United States Department of Transportation’s National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Yes, the NHTSA is hoping Star Wars is the one movie everyone checks out over the holidays. Why? As part of its ongoing campaign to make sure no one drives drunk this holiday season, the NHTSA announced on December 17th that two new ads will play before the Star Wars movie. The new ads for Driver Sober or Get Pulled Over are entitled “Man in the Mirror” and “Woman in the Mirror.” In both ads, a person’s reflection in the mirror tries to convince him or herself that they are okay to drive. The message of the ad is that a person who has been drinking cannot trust his or her judgment to know if he or she is sober enough to drive.

The goal of the NHTSA’s holiday crackdown campaign is to get out the message, that if a person drinks, he or she should not drive. Or in other words, if you do drive, drive sober, or do not drive at all. Do not have a few drinks and then try to drive home. As a wise creature named Yoda once said “Do. Or do not. There is no try.” So if you plan to venture out this holiday be smart and do not put yourself in the situation where you will need to make a decision about whether or not you are okay to drive home. To avoid this sort of situation heed the following:

  • Leave the car at home. If your plans are to go to a holiday party, take public transportation or a cab to the event. Or have your designated drive pick you up. This way you cannot change your mind later on in the evening and decide that you are “okay” to drive after having a few drinks.
  • Be a Host. The best part about hosting is at the end of the night you do not have to try to make it home. If you do choose to host, require guests to have a designated driver or take their keys and spend the night.
  • Do not drink. Remember that you can choose not to drink. If you make this choice, you could also give the gift of a sober ride home to someone in need.

If you or a loved one was seriously injured after being involved in an accident with a drunk driver, it is important to contact a skilled Oklahoma Personal Injury Attorney as soon as possible. Only an experienced Injury Attorney can examine the facts of your case and determine whether you are entitled to receive compensation for your injuries. The Oklahoma Injury Attorneys at The Handley Law Center are compassionate advocates who understand the devastating impact a serious car crash can have on the victim and his or her family. Trust our team of attorneys to help you get your life back. To schedule a free and completely confidential consultation with one of our seasoned injury attorneys, contact The Handley Law Center today at (405) 295-1924.


Oklahoma Motorcyclists: How to Avoid Three of the Top Causes of Car-Related Motorcycle Accidents

While much has been done to promote awareness of how cars need to share the roadways with motorcycles, the problem is far from solved. Each year motorcyclists land in the hospital after being hit by a car. To protect him or herself, motorcyclists should always be aware of how to avoid risky situations. The following are three of the top three causes of car-motorcycle crashes and what you as a motorcyclist can do to avoid such an accident:

Car Changes Lanes in Front of You:

You are happily cruising along when a car suddenly darts into your lane. This all too common situation is a major cause of accidents. The reason why this type of accident is so common is partially because motorcycles are very small in comparison to other vehicles on the road. Due to its small relative size, a motorcycle can easily disappear into a driver’s blind spot. Another reason is that often motorists simply do not see a motorcycle as many motorists tend to be looking for another car or truck, not a motorcycle.

One of the best tips to avoid being side-swiped by a motorist changing lanes is to first avoid driving in a driver’s blind spot. Become aware of a car’s blind spots and stay out of them. You can also wear brightly colored gear to help to be more easily seen.

Hit By a Car from the Rear:

Unlike when a car rear-ends another car of even a truck, which can result in a minor fender bender, a car hitting a motorcycle from behind can be deadly for the motorcyclist. When coming to a stop, it is important for motorcyclists to always keep an eye on his or her mirrors and have an escape route ready. You can also leave your bike in gear in order to make a quick getaway. If there is another vehicle in front of you, be sure to allow plenty of space between you and that vehicle.

Car Turns Left in Front of You:

Another all too common cause of motorcycle-car accidents occurs when at an intersection, a car makes a left-hand turn in front of a motorcyclist. Clearly, the driver of the car either misjudged the speed at which the motorcyclist was traveling or did not see the motorcyclist. The best thing any motorcyclist can do to avoid being hit at an intersection is to pay careful attention. Keep a close eye on any car that appears to be turning. If you think a car is about to turn and are uncertain if that driver sees you coming, take precautions. Try to slow down as you approach the intersection and cover the brake, so that you can stop if necessary. If you realize a little too late that the turning driver does not see you, do not just ditch the bike. In most instances it best to try to reduce your speed as much as possible. This is also why it is so important for motorcyclists to wear helmets and other protective gear.

The injury attorneys at The Handley Law Center are experienced and compassionate litigators who have helped countless motorcycle injury victims obtain the compensation they deserve. If you or a loved one was seriously injured or killed in a motorcycle accident you to seek the counsel of a seasoned Oklahoma Personal Injury Attorney. To schedule a free and confidential consultation with one of our skilled Oklahoma Motorcycle Accident Lawyers, contact The Handley Law Center at (405) 295-1924. At the Handley Law Center we pride ourselves in providing injury victims with superior legal services. Trust our team of injury professionals to do the same for you.


Non-Custodial Parents: How to Make Visitation Better For Your Child

Visitation schedules can be tricky for both parents and children. Children that were once free go to a friend’s house or play at the park on Tuesdays after school may now learn that they have to go visit Mommy or Daddy every Tuesday instead. Even worse, a child that wants to spend time with Mommy (or Daddy) on Wednesday evening may realize that they cannot see that parent until Thursday evening. Even though it may be difficult for a child to understand the how’s and why’s of a visitation agreement, there are things even a non-custodial parent can do to make visitation easier on a child. The following are a few tips to help ensure sure that visitation is a positive experience for your child.

Keep it polite: Whether you and your ex are on friendly terms or not, a visitation exchange is not the time to inquire into your ex’s personal life. If you think any conversation including a polite hello would start an argument with your ex, then do not say anything at all. Instead focus all of your attention on your child and his or her transition between your ex and you.

Pick up the phone: If your child is missing the other parent maybe suggest that your child call to talk to that parent or see if he or she is available by Skype. Even if it affects “your” parenting time, a few minutes chatting with the missed parent may actually improve the quality of your time together with your child. This is especially true for young children during vacation or weekend parenting time.

Transport your children yourself: Try not to have anyone other than you be present to exchange your child for visitation, unless in case of an emergency (i.e., you are stuck at work, car broke down, etc.).

Keep significant others out of visitation until well established: Always keep in mind that divorce is difficult for children and they may have problems expressing those feelings. Therefore, it is a good idea not to have your significant other share in your parenting time until the relationship is serious and the children have had time plenty of time to adjust to the divorce.

Consistency is key: If bedtime is usual 8:00 pm do not allow the children to stay up late just to win a few cool parent brownie points. Children need their sleep and more importantly need consistency in their routine, especially after a recent split between their parents.

Keep all visitation and if you cannot cancel with proper notice: Nothing is worse for a child than looking forward to spending time with a parent, only for that parent to cancel at the last minute, or worse, forget. Try to keep all of your visitation and if you cannot for some reason make your visitation, let the child and your ex know as soon as possible.

Make all time quality time: Every time you see your children is does not have to the equivalent to a trip to Disneyland. Rather than try to impress your children for the relatively short period of time they are with you, try to keep it normal. Help with homework, if needed or share in an activity that they enjoy.

If you are a parent in the midst of a custody dispute or are considering filing for divorce you need an experienced family law attorney by your side to protect your best interests. Contact The Handley Law Center today at (405) 295-1924 to schedule your free and completely confidential consultation with one of our experienced Oklahoma family law attorneys. The Handley Law Center prides itself on providing clients with top-notch legal services. The attorneys at The Handley Law Center will make sure that your legal rights and make sure that all is done to protect your children.

Tips for Sharing the Roadways with Large Commercial Trucks

With the holidays in full swing America’s roadways are busy with folks trying to get grandma’s house. Of course, holiday travelers are not the only ones attempting to get from point A to point B on a tight schedule. Commercial semi-tractor trailers are on the roadways as well. It is important for motorists to be aware of these large commercial vehicles as accidents involving a truck and a car are particularly dangerous. Nearly 80% of fatal car-truck crashes result in the occupants of the car being killed. Close to 7 of out every 10 fatal multi-vehicle accidents involving a car and a tractor-trailer, are estimated to have been caused by the driver of the car. Motorists can reduce their likelihood of being involved in a serious accident by educating themselves on how to share the roadways with large trucks. To ensure that you are safely sharing the roadways, keep in mind these facts about large commercial trucks:

  • Trucks require more space: Large trucks, like 18 wheelers, have a greater turning radius than a normal sized vehicle. To be able to successfully navigate a turn, a truck will swing wide in the direction opposite of the turn before actually making the turn. Therefore, it is important that a motorist allow a truck extra space to maneuver. When a truck signals that it is about to make a turn a motorist should never try to position itself between a truck and the curb as the vehicle is likely to be pushed into the curb or hit. Large trucks also require more space when they are merging onto or exiting from the highway.
  • Trucks require a greater breaking distance: Did you know that it takes a fully loaded semi-truck traveling at 55 mph around 300 feet to come to a complete stop, even under dry weather conditions? That is the equivalent distance of a football field minus the two end zones. This is why it is imperative to allow extra space when passing a large truck. Too often motorists make the mistake of cutting back in front of a truck too soon after passing and then slowing down. When a motorist passes a truck in this manner, it can interfere with the truck driver’s ability to see the car in time and not being able to slow down in time—which can result in the truck rear ending the car.
  • Trucks have more and larger blind spots: Although large commercial trucks have mirrors, much like passenger vehicles, a truck still has large blind spots. A truck’s largest blind spot, and therefore, the most dangerous place for a motorist to be, is along the truck’s right side. Motorists should try to pass a truck on the left side whenever possible.
  • A truck may be carrying hazardous materials: Commercials trucks alert other motorists if the truck is carrying hazardous contents by posting a sign on the rear of the truck. The trucks may be carrying flammable liquids such as gasoline, explosives such as dynamite or fireworks, or some other toxic substance. Although drivers who haul hazardous materials have received special training, it is a good idea to allow these driver’s even more space than you would a normal load-carrying truck.
  • More susceptible to rollovers: Due to its higher center of gravity, a truck is more likely to rollover. A rollover of a large truck can be made even more dangerous if the truck is carrying hazardous materials.

If you or a loved one was injured or killed in an accident involving a truck, please contact The Handley Law Center at 405-295-1924.  Our seasoned personal injury attorneys offer a free and completely confidential consultation.  We also take the time you need to answer all of your questions and advise you of your legal options. You can trust the seasoned attorneys at the Handley Law Center to provide you with exceptional legal services.