Talk to anyone who has been through a divorce and he or she will most likely tell you that it was an emotional experience. Divorce can bring up emotions like sadness, depression, resentment and of course, anger. Anger is an emotion that most people feel at some point during the process. However, for some people, the anger portion of the divorce can last a very long time. As any wise divorce attorney can tell you, dealing with a very angry spouse can be quite difficult. A hostile husband or a wrathful wife is often not willing to play nice. He or she is so focused on being upset that moving a case towards completion can be almost impossible. So the question begs, what do you do if your soon to be ex is hot under the collar? The following are the four basic rules for dealing with a seething spouse:
- Do not fall into the anger trap. Anger loves anger. So the first rule in dealing with a perturbed partner is to keep your cool. Do not fall into the trap of responding to your enraged ex with hostility. Take a few seconds to take a breath before speaking and keep your voice at a normal level. Do not shout!
- Be prepared for their tricks. A steaming hot spouse is looking for a fight. If you do not fall into their trap easily, he or she may resort to tricks. The good news is that if you are prepared for these outbursts, then you will be better equipped to handle them and realize that they are just part of his or her game. Common peeved off behaviors include:
- Delay tactics (continuing hearings, failing to provide discovery)
- Fighting over material objects that he or she does not want but know that hold special significance for you.
- Start a custody battle.
- Back out of verbal agreements
- Create a support team. Dealing with an overly emotional ex can be draining. It is important that you create a support team that can help you out and psych you up mentally to deal with the barrage of anger that is flying your way. While friends and family members are great, you may also consider finding a therapist or counselor you could talk to as well. A therapist will not only listen but also give you tools to better handle the stress.
- Fight nice. Just because you are not falling into the “angry trap” does not mean you have to roll over and play dead. You can still fight for what is important to you, just do it in a way that you will be proud of at the end. This means picking your battles carefully and once you have, fight nicely. Do not drag up the past or fight based solely on principle. Instead, focus on the present and what you need out of the divorce. Realize that there are no true “winners” in a divorce. However, if you keep your mind set on getting what you need and rather on “winning” an argument or every individual fight, you will be much better off in the end.
If you are contemplating filing for divorce, it is important to speak with an experienced Oklahoma Family Law Attorney. Only skilled Oklahoma Divorce Attorneys can answer your questions and review your legal options with you. At The Handley Law Center, our compassionate attorneys understand how trying a divorce can be and the emotional toll it can take on a person. You can trust The Handley Law Center to be by your side every step of the way. To schedule a consultation with one of our trained family law attorneys contact The Handley Law Center today at (405) 295-1924.