Some divorces are simple, straightforward and resolve quickly with little to no fanfare. Other divorces are nothing of the sort. These divorces can be long, drawn-out affairs that to anyone appear quite ugly. It is fairly easy to imagine two people parenting their children after the former, but not such much after the later. It seems almost impossible that two people who had so much angst against each other during the divorce could agree on anything, much less parenting a child, post-divorce. It may seem incredible, but the fact is that countless “couples” like this do it every day.
This is not to say that co-parenting is easy—it is not. Even happily married couples have problems when it comes to parenting, and that is because parenting is tough. Like people often say parenting is the toughest job out there, and it is true. However, there are things you can do to help make co-parenting easier on you, your children and even your ex. The following are some tips to help make the co-parenting transition easier on everyone:
- Always remember why. Co-parenting with your ex may be the toughest thing you ever do in life. The biggest key to successful co-parenting is always to remember why you are doing it and that is simple—because it is best for your kids. Children do the best when they have two parents who can set aside their differences and put their needs first.
- Start a new relationship with your ex. While it is easier said than done, it is important to think of you and your ex as having a new relationship now, one where the only goal is to raise happy and healthy children. Trudging up and reliving old fights will not help you with that goal. Instead, leave the past where it belongs, in the past, and start fresh. You and your ex are no long romantic partners, but more like business partners.
- Communicate as business partners. Now that you and your ex are business partners, it is important to act as such. Remember, just like in business you do not have to agree with the other person all of the time or even like him or her. What is does mean is that you need to communicate and act professionally or respectfully with each other because at the end of the day—you are in this together. How do you do that? Leave out the emotions, snide remarks and nastiness. Instead, focus on one issue at a time, be polite and listen. If communication continues to be a big problem, seek mediation or a third-party who can help you to communicate better.
- Present a united front. The last place children need to be is in the middle of a disagreement or argument between their parents. Even if you are having problems with your ex, whether it be over communication problems or parenting strategies, your kids should be blissfully unaware. To your children, you and your ex should be seen as a united front, co-captains of the same team.
If you are encounter parenting problems with your ex after your divorce is finalized, it is important that you speak with an experienced Oklahoma Divorce Attorney sooner rather than later. Only skilled Oklahoma Divorce Attorneys can review your situation with you and determine what strategies, legal or otherwise, would work best for you. At The Handley Law Center, our compassionate attorneys understand how difficult divorce can be and that sometimes these difficulties can extend after the divorce is complete. Trust The Handley Law Center to be by your side every step of the way. To schedule, a consultation with one of our trained divorce attorneys contact The Handley Law Center today at (405) 295-1924.